I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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