How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
