I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
