And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
