If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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