you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Panties = found
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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