Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
COCAINE IS GR8
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