how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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