My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
