I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
