I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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