Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think people are normalizing furries
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