he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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