I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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