At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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