69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
