theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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