my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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