maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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