i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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