I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
