3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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