we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
