bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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