Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
