Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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