I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
