oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
