I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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