Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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