he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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