Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
