yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
