Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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