I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You can't motorboat a personality
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
