Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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