"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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