Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
