so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
