I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
