Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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