am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
