just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
