yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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