I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
this just has baby written all over it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
