Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
