There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize