Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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