K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
