ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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