I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize