and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wear drunk well.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
