I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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