if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
