So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
