maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
