she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
