The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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