just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
