she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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