Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
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I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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