I've blown a few things in my day
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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