so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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