Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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