if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
