Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
