Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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